I can’t stop thinking about –

You.

I thought it was my loneliness.

I thought it was merely a

desire for something

simple, uncomplicated, platonic.

I thought anything more would ruin –

Us.

What the hell is going on?

A battle royale is exploding in

my head, my heart.

Doubt in myself,

doubt that we could make it work

scratches and nips at my hope and faith that

love can conquer it all.

Perhaps it’s childish.

Perhaps I should shut up.

I could lose you,

but I could lose you anyway

through my silence.

Will these feelings,

this swirling dark hurricane of

inferno reds, overwhelming blues, and stormy grays

Ever cease?

Will they last?

Are they only temporary?

Could they be the real thing?

Could you and I,

thousands of miles apart,

ever survive to be a –

We.

We could falter and fade and crumble

beyond recognition.

We could scream at the universe

and burn any who would attempt to wreck us.

We could journey through life together

and end up hating each other.

We could conquer the world,

bridge the gap, lose all common sense,

and I could chant your name like a prayer.

We could let Time take over, meet new people, and

let the other fade from our lives,

leaving naught but a faint memory.

We could be battle-weary warriors,

sick and tired of this darkening world

and create our own light.

We could destroy each other,

hate each other, and destroy any evidence

of the other having a heart.

"But we could also be infinite." my patchwork heart whispers tentatively to my guarded, healing mind.

I whisper my secrets to the stars

and hope that

they’ll sing them to you.

 

Copyright © 2018 by Nita Pan

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