I can’t stop thinking about –
I thought it was my loneliness.
I thought it was merely a
desire for something
simple, uncomplicated, platonic.
I thought anything more would ruin –
What the hell is going on?
A battle royale is exploding in
my head, my heart.
Doubt in myself,
doubt that we could make it work
scratches and nips at my hope and faith that
love can conquer it all.
Perhaps it’s childish.
Perhaps I should shut up.
I could lose you,
but I could lose you anyway
through my silence.
Will these feelings,
this swirling dark hurricane of
inferno reds, overwhelming blues, and stormy grays
Will they last?
Are they only temporary?
Could they be the real thing?
Could you and I,
thousands of miles apart,
ever survive to be a –
We could falter and fade and crumble
We could scream at the universe
and burn any who would attempt to wreck us.
We could journey through life together
and end up hating each other.
We could conquer the world,
bridge the gap, lose all common sense,
and I could chant your name like a prayer.
We could let Time take over, meet new people, and
let the other fade from our lives,
leaving naught but a faint memory.
We could be battle-weary warriors,
sick and tired of this darkening world
and create our own light.
We could destroy each other,
hate each other, and destroy any evidence
of the other having a heart.
"But we could also be infinite." my patchwork heart whispers tentatively to my guarded, healing mind.
I whisper my secrets to the stars
and hope that
they’ll sing them to you.
Copyright © 2018 by Nita Pan
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