I am better; I still hurt. I am growing; I'm paralyzed. I am strong; My thoughts are darker still. I make jokes and laugh; I'm still dying inside. The difference now? I'm not alone. Call 1-800-273-8255 if you're thinking of ending it all. For more resources, here's a list of worldwide suicide hotlines. You are … Continue reading 1-800-273-8255

Dear Depression

Dear Depression, I gave away all of the good parts of me to others in order to feel like you weren't all that I was. I didn't talk to anyone about you; I just bled into my journal. I tried for so long to rescue everyone that I could touch to not feel you for … Continue reading Dear Depression

More Than a Sum of Imperfections

TRIGGER WARNING: If you are triggered by mentions of self-harm, anorexia, and negative body image, please do not read this. I messed up again. I stared at my reflection, and named everything that I hated about myself and why. The acne on my face and back from dealing with stress and the medications I take … Continue reading More Than a Sum of Imperfections

Needed Something

TRIGGER WARNING: contains a heavy depressive episode. Please, do not read this if you are triggered by this content. One fine day on a lazy spring afternoon, the mosquitoes were a humming and sweat bees circled the weeping girl, landing on her bare roughed up arms and nipping at her flesh. She was cryin', begging … Continue reading Needed Something

Self-Worth (+Announcement)

I’ve got to grow up. I’ve got to make a decision. I’ve got to decide What’s important to me. I’ve got to decide If I’m worth it. Copyright © 2018 by Nita Pan All rights reserved. This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express … Continue reading Self-Worth (+Announcement)