If the Truth Shatters

I'm done lying about who I am and what I feel to ease your mind. You ask me how I am and who and what I love. I will speak the truth. No more hiding to keep you comfortable. If the truth shatters your glass house, maybe you should've used a stronger material. Copyright © … Continue reading If the Truth Shatters

Screams, Aches, Longings

Screams. An itch, I twitch. Building up with each stroke against the keyboard. I ache. Aches. A soreness, I moan. Growing with every zero in my inbox. I long. Longings. An agony, I whimper. Overflowing with every time I wish not to be alone at night. Copyright © 2019 by Nita Pan All rights reserved. … Continue reading Screams, Aches, Longings

Writing: a Poem

There's this bursting behind by my eyes. All I can do is write. My chest aches from the almost creative mania. All I can't do is write. My thoughts, my dreams... they ride on this. All I can't do is write. If I don't do this, how will I ever do anything else. All I … Continue reading Writing: a Poem

Wilted Beauties

She keeps a bouquet of wilted flowers on a weary wooden chest in her room. Roses, baby's breath, and wisteria have long since ceased to live, all shriveled up husks, trapped in a shadow of their former beauty. The roses' petals have all but fallen off, and soon they'll crumble to the touch. That light … Continue reading Wilted Beauties

Dear Depression

Dear Depression, I gave away all of the good parts of me to others in order to feel like you weren't all that I was. I didn't talk to anyone about you; I just bled into my journal. I tried for so long to rescue everyone that I could touch to not feel you for … Continue reading Dear Depression

October Snow

She's the first gasp of spring after the long winter months. I was an October snow: too much, too cold, too soon. Together we're the moon. Waxing and waning through the months and always there. Constant. Copyright © 2019 by Nita PanAll rights reserved. This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or … Continue reading October Snow

Needed Something

TRIGGER WARNING: contains a heavy depressive episode. Please, do not read this if you are triggered by this content. One fine day on a lazy spring afternoon, the mosquitoes were a humming and sweat bees circled the weeping girl, landing on her bare roughed up arms and nipping at her flesh. She was cryin', begging … Continue reading Needed Something

Keep Talking

Cold nights, dark streets lit dimly with faint yellow glows. I got to know your voice better than I ever knew my own. Slush and snow seeps slowly into my threadbare boots. You say hello in that soothing melody that is uniquely yours, and I keep walking. To where? I don't have a clue. But … Continue reading Keep Talking

Grow Up

I was told to grow up by the people I love, and I thought, “Okay, I can do that.” Now that I'm grown up, they ask why I am so sharp, so angry. “You were sweet, kind, and happy before. What happened?” I guide them to the top of this poem. Copyright © 2018 by … Continue reading Grow Up

You, Us, We

I can’t stop thinking about - You. I thought it was my loneliness. I thought it was merely a desire for something simple, uncomplicated, platonic. I thought anything more would ruin - Us. What the hell is going on? A battle royale is exploding in my head, my heart. Doubt in myself, doubt that we could … Continue reading You, Us, We