You Are Madness

I feel you: deep in my bones drifting like a ghost through the walls of my crumbling home. Home: a place with four battered walls sunken in places from our fists. A thread of my best black dress is still stuck to a nail from where you shoved me up against the wall. You tore … Continue reading You Are Madness

What I Feel

I've screamed. I can't stop crying. I've gotten past the numbness, and all that I am now is a chest-ripping mixture of sorrow, love, and regret. I cannot see myself moving on. Even though you must loathe me, you were my home. I was the one who made the mistake of acting like a monster, … Continue reading What I Feel

Panic Chord

I started to feel a deeper soft fluttery joyous thing. Unused to such feelings, I let my fear of the unknown take over and I pulled the panic chord. I realized what I was missing a heartbeat too late. I spewed poison. I made her cry, and now our story might be over. My greatest … Continue reading Panic Chord

Spiders Caressing My Spine

My eyes flutter shut as your lips graze mine. I shiver as your hand spreads over my thrumming heart. Your fingers are like spiders caressing my spine as you oh so slowly pull me against you. Please, I gasp. Don't leave me again. Copyright © 2019 by Nita Pan All rights reserved. This post or … Continue reading Spiders Caressing My Spine

Sandcastles, Seafood, and Sluggish Summer Days

ARC provided by NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. Right around the time where I was considering going on an social media hiatus, Lillie Vale tweeted, asking if anyone was interested in reading an ARC of her debut, Small Town Hearts. I've read her works from Wattpad and have fallen in love with her … Continue reading Sandcastles, Seafood, and Sluggish Summer Days

Only Me

With fire in her blood and a tongue that cut and soothed in the same breath, she had to be a dream. Whether she was blood-soaked or wrapped in gauzy silk, it didn’t matter. I’d worship her anyway. Kali in the flesh, she was a devil on the battlefield, and an angel in my arms. … Continue reading Only Me

October Snow

She's the first gasp of spring after the long winter months. I was an October snow: too much, too cold, too soon. Together we're the moon. Waxing and waning through the months and always there. Constant. Copyright © 2019 by Nita PanAll rights reserved. This post or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or … Continue reading October Snow

Keep Talking

Cold nights, dark streets lit dimly with faint yellow glows. I got to know your voice better than I ever knew my own. Slush and snow seeps slowly into my threadbare boots. You say hello in that soothing melody that is uniquely yours, and I keep walking. To where? I don't have a clue. But … Continue reading Keep Talking


When you look away blushing, my head feels dizzy. We talk for hours on hours. That closeness, that intimacy, sends me into a tizzy. For the life of me, I can’t explain it, but, I swear, your laugh tastes fizzy. Copyright © 2018 by Nita Pan All rights reserved. This post or any portion thereof … Continue reading Fizzy

Hazy Shades of Nightmares

Your energy, dark tendrils made of everything terrible, caresses his hazy shades of nightmares. How revolting it is to see you two pretend that you’re compatible. As if you two jive on a mystical level. Just because your magic matches doesn’t mean that you two do. Monsters. Copyright © 2018 by Nita Pan All rights … Continue reading Hazy Shades of Nightmares